Friday, January 18, 2019

Classic Wrestling TV Review: WWF Championship Wrestling January 14, 1984

WWF Championship Wrestling: January 14, 1984 

From the Agricultural Hall Allentown, Pennsylvania Taped January 3, 1984

The copy I have cut out the opening, so we start out with our trusty geriatric ring announcer Joe McHugh. 

Sgt. Slaughter d. Mike Dorsett in 3:43.
Slaughter comes out to the "The Marine's Hymn," one of the few on the roster to have music played for their entrance which really sets him apart. I think the story goes is that The Freebirds were the first to employ music in the entrance, Slaughter second and Hogan third.  A fan in the crowd holds a sign that reads: "Gomer Is A Maggot".  Gene uses a favorite phrase of his: "Forty Miles Of Bad Road", describing Dorsett's eventual fate in this match. A heel fan has a sign that says "Join The Cobra Corps in 84" while another holds Sarge's photo from the calendar, so he's already starting to catch on with the crowd.  Slaughter pinches the ref's belly and Vince states he prefers everyone to stay "slim and trim" which is funny considering the pot belly he was rocking when he returned in 1990 for his title run.  That said, Slaughter is in pretty good shape here.  He basically just beats the shit out of Dorsett.  Another forty miles of bad road" from Gene.  Slaughter slingshots Dorsett face first into the turnbuckle with Vince calls "the slaughter cannon".  Dorsett tries to fight back but Sarge no sells it until Dorsett rakes the eyes.  However, this just pisses Sarge off and he cuts Dorsett off and drops him gut first on the top rope before finishing him with the cobra clutch.  After the match Sarge lifts Dorsett to his feet only to knock him back onto his ass with a stiff clothesline. 

Gene with some arena promos. In an incredible slip up, Gene announces Hogan as beating Sheik for the title in the Garden in the match that doesn't even happen for another 9 days.  Ivan Putski comes in to plug the Battle Royal at the Olympic Auditorium in L.A.  Putski isn't much without the polish accent.  Halfway through the promo Gene informs Putski that the purse for the battle royal has been raised from 30 grand to 50 grand which compels Putski to exclaim loudly before charging away.  Next is Sheik and Ayatollah Blassie. "Listen, that pencil neck geek can't even count to fifty thousand," Blassie insists referring to Putski. Blassie then refers to Sheik losing the belt to Hogan as well, so someone fucked up here and dropped the wrong week's promo into this slot. I can't imagine the coronary Vince would have these days if someone made such a mistake.  Tito Santana comes in.  Tito panders to the L.A. fans and talks about watching the Rams win the Superbowl recently and compares the Battle Royal to the Superbowl of wrestling.  Now we have Andre, who was on Letterman just a few days before this.  Andre and Gene surmise that there will be 6 thousand pounds in the ring.  Andre seems to think that Battle Royals are called "Royal Royals" but that just might be his accent.  

They keep teasing ads for the WWF Calendar but whoever clipped this episode cuts it out. 

"Superfly" Jimmy Snuka d. "Butcher" Paul Vachon in 2:55.
Up until last week, Snuka was the most over face in the company. He's still quite popular here, though there are a few audible boos in the crowd so perhaps they were hip to his recent "troubles".  Vachon dominates early, taking Snuka down with punches, Snuka selling quite a bit probably just out of respect for the veteran.  Vachon is classic old school heel down to the eye rakes.  Vachon beats Snuka in the corner then choking and biting Superfly.  Snuka fights back, pulling Vachon to the middle of the ring and knocking him down with a headbutt, then climbing to the top and rather than hitting a splash hits another awkward looking headbutt.  So Snuka's offense consisted of two moves. 

Victory Corner with Dr. D David Schultz
Host Robert DeVord joined by guest Dr. D David Schultz, sans Roddy Piper. Schultz says he's here for competition naming all the top faces, then confesses that he wanders the streets going into honky tonks and bars looking for a fight. He says when he can't do that he sits at home and turns on the tv and dreams about fighting the wrestlers on there.  He then threatens DeVord who brushes Dr. D off and quickly ends the segment.  Wrestling needs more guys like Schultz who just come off like a dude who would try to fuck you up in a bar if you looked at them wrong. 

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (with Roddy Piper) d. Hercules Vasquez in 4:41.
Piper reaches in and grabs the ref by the belt towards the rope, insisting he give Orndorff more time to prepare before starting the match. Fans are immediately on Orndorff with the "Paula" chants.  Vince reads a letter from a fan mentioning Orndorff's tendency to stall at the beginning of his matches.  Piper takes his time helping Orndorff with his robe.  Yet another full minute of stalling and Vasquez is getting restless. They finally lock up and Orndorff pushes him into the ropes, teasing a clean break then beating Vasquez down.  Orndorff slams him down hard and drops a knee across the throat, then jumps off the top with an elbow.  Orndorff drops Vasquez with another fist before rocking Vasquez with the most legit looking piledriver in the business.  How he doesn't fucking kill guys on this I'll never know but that's the magic.  Vince drools a little over Orndorff's physique ("Oh my!").  

Magnificent Muraco d. Special Delivery Jones in 4:30.
Captain Lou Albano is notable by his absence here. The green title belts in this era was an odd choice.  Fans chant "beach bum" at Muraco who is just mr. cool here.  Muraco backs Jones into the corner but backs off, seeming incredulous that the ref would even think he would do something cheap.  S.D. tries for a test of strength but Muraco backs off.  Jones tries to fire up and slaps Muraco who smiles. Jones continues to slap Muraco, finally drawing him in allowing Jones to get the best of him as Muraco finally sells the slaps.  Jones grabs a headlock After some selling Muraco counters with a reverse snapmare then stomps Jones on the mat.  Muraco comes off the ropes with an asian spike to the throat and a kneelift to the face as Jones staggers back to his feet.  Muraco downs Jones with an elbow to the back of the head then taunts him, drawing fists to the gut from Jones who backs Muraco into the corner.  Muraco counters a charge, then climbs to the top and drives his knee into Jone's head as he does a free fall from the top driving his knee into Jones' head.  As they climb to his feet Jones hits a quick suplex, but Muraco counters this into a cradle as they land and cinches Jones in for the pin. 

Jose Luis Rivera d. Tony Colon in 3:10.
Color me shocked that Joe McHugh pronounced "Colon" properly because he had no idea with "Jose Luis Rivera".  Colon tries some funny business but immediately gets sent out of the ring.  Rivera keeps taking Colon down with arm drags, sending him out again.  Rivera grabs a headlock, taking him over to the mat.  Gene puts over the "maturation process" that has occurred with Hulk Hogan in the past few years.  Vince calls Hogan "one of the greatest wrestlers in history" and "300 pounds of hunk".  Rivera works Colon down with a leg hold. Colon tries to whip Rivera into the corner, but Rivera counters by leaping over the top, swinging around the post and knocking Colon's head into the turnbuckle before climbing back in.  Rivera whips Colon in for a high dropkick, then drops him in what looked to be an attempted fireman's carry, immediately trying again and turning it into an airplane spin, dropping him to the mat for the pin.  I think that has to be the first time in my life i've ever seen a match end with an airplane spin.  Rivera is fine but in a world where you also have Tito Santana as a latin babyface he doesn't stand much of a chance. 

We now cut to a clip taken from WWE Classics on Demand from this episode in much higher quality than the rest of the video, as Gene interviews Hogan and Backlund.  Based on the commentary in the previous match, I think this originally aired at the beginning of the episode but whoever put this together saw fit to put it on the end. Hogan and Backlund shake hands.  Hogan says that the reception he got coming back made him feel like a babe in new arms.  He said he's been training hard with Backlund and "the excitement he puts off gives me chills" which is a stretch, to say the least. Backlund said nothing here, which is just mean. If he didn't see the writing on the wall here, he's a fool, whether or not he can rattle of the names of all the U.S. Presidents in order.

Hulk Hogan & Bob Backlund d. Mr. Fuji & Tiger Chung Lee in 4:12.
McHugh confirms that this is the opening match.  Backlund starts off of course, gotta make the fans wait for Hogan.  Lee pushes Backlund into the corner, but Backlund crawls beneath his legs and quickly tags Hogan.  Fuji grabs an armbar but Hogan reverses it, bringing Lee back in.  Hogan and Backlund essentially just work Lee's arm, tagging in and out frequently.  Lee works Hogan down with some blows to the ribs until Hogan just decides to no sell them and gives him the Hulk-up face. Hogan backs Lee into the corner with punches them tosses him into the other corner, downing him an atomic drop, Fuji breaking up the pin. Backlund is back in, but Lee quickly takes control, and he and Fuji work the arm. Gene states that "the past few weeks must have been terribly traumatic" for Backlund in light of his title loss.  Did Backlund fire Skaaland in story line due to the finish of the Sheik match or did he just appear in his corner for arena matches? Hogan is back as a house of fire, quickly sending Fuji out then quickly defeating Lee with the trademark clothesline-bodyslam-legdrop combo.  




Paul Orndorff d. S.D. Jones in 5:45. 
This is a match that ended up on the end of this tape somehow. Monsoon is on commentary with Gene and they inform us this is from the All-American Wrestling episode that aired the next day. Wasn't going to review this match since it wasn't actually from the show, but then I fast forwarded and saw that there is a Piper promo afterwards and there isn't any point in history where I'm not going to watch a Roddy Piper promo from 1984 if I come across one. Short story here is that Orndorff destroys Jones with piledriver. 

Piper & Orndorff join Gene at the interview set. "M-o-o-s-e! M-o-o-s-e!" Piper exclaims discussing the women who are gawking at Mr. Wonderful's body.  He say the men who call Orndorff Paula "all weigh 280 pounds and the girls next to them weigh 20 pounds more!" Piper says all the women need are "antlers and fur".  Gene cuts off the promo as Piper continues to go on and on.  




This was a fine episode, not as legendary as last week. There is definitely a select groups of guys they are trying to get/keep over (Hogan, Orndorff, Dr. D & Piper, Muraco, Santana, Sheik, Slaughter). Hogan's arrival has turned the entire promotion upside down, and in 15 months the two top faces before he arrived, Backlund and Snuka will be gone. It will be interesting to see how that lineup expands in the next few weeks. 




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